courting a career change.

Have you ever felt a gaping void within you? A void created because you were dissatisfied with or enervated by your job or line of work?

The past few months (especially the last) have been pretty eventful. Perhaps the most of my life.

For one thing, I was fired.

*pause for dramatic effect*

I enjoy observing people's reaction to that statement. In actuality, my company was winding down and I was let go along with all my colleagues a few months ago.While serving my notice period, I gave some serious thought to what to do next. Was social media marketing what I really wanted to do until the Next Big Thing came along, whatever that was? Hark! An epiphany! No, it wasn't. I realized then how crucial it was for a person to have goals. At the time, I had none. No purpose, no direction. What would I do if not continue pursuing a career in marketing (my major), I wondered while listlessly browsing bayt.com for job openings that fitted my profile.

The fact remained that I no longer cared for marketing, commercialism or the corporate world, and felt far removed from them all. It isn't in me to spend over 8 hours shackled to an office desk doing something I'm not interested in; thankfully, I'm not in dire financial straits or family obligations because of which I'd have to. I learnt a ton of stuff from my awesome manager and colleagues and gained an incredible amount of exposure and insight into the inner workings of the industry, but it was time to move on to another field. What I really wanted to do was take a break from working (yes, I had been working only for a year and a half and had travelled several times in that duration) and retreat into a shack on some God forsaken island and write. I could write but I am nothing if not realistic and brutally honest with myself: writing wasn't going to get me very far, especially considering how underdeveloped my skills are, and it wasn't going to help me sustain myself financially.

I needed to find an alternate career when my notice period ended, but came up blank. I was plagued by insouciance and cared about nothing. I felt my mind wasting away which frustrated me beyond measure.

It was in the midst of all the uncertainty that my life is so often afflicted with that I was asked, "since you love grammar so much, why don't you get paid for it?"

And that's how I stumbled upon the CELTA*.

*Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults. More to come in upcoming posts.

just me and the road.

A zephyr blows tirelessly, accompanied by a drizzle. The light rain patters down on my hair forming an effect of early morning dew on a spider's web. Toes clutching onto my cousin's chappal* two sizes too big for me, every step I take is accompanied by a risk of the abysmally large footwear flying off and exposing my feet to the dirt, grime and muck that lie in plenitude on the streets of Bombay.

Damp hair hurriedly pulled into a wild bun with a side ponytail while they're still manageable, make for a bizarre 'do. Having forgotten my scarves in Pune in the last minute rush to leave, I had to make do with a peach chiffon scarf my nani** lent me to mismatch on a light grey tee which on account of its stretchable cotton material, had grown a size.

Completing my ensemble with a nonchalant scowl, I walk fearlessly like I own the road, enjoying the gorgeous weather that is so hard to come by in this city. People go by unconcerned; everybody's minding their own business. It's just me and the road.

I think that's what I miss most.

*chappal: flip-flop.
**nani: maternal grandmother.

(Bombay, July '11)

my birthday gift to me.

Sixteen years ago, when we shifted into a new apartment, I got a spanking new study table for the room I was to share with the sister. It comprised of a desk, a shelf and a small cupboard. I lovingly arranged my Enid Blyton's and Roald Dahl's on the shelf and thrust some encyclopedias into the cupboard. When I had to 'study', I'd place one of Blyton's many adventure books into the pages of my text book, leaving the cupboard door ajar while reading, so as to conceal my transgression from my parents if they happened to pop in to enquire of my progress.

The study table underwent a startling makeover as it bore the brunt of our transitions, from childhood all through the teenage years. For one, half the Blytons, were replaced with the Harry Potter series. The smooth pine colour was scrawled upon with names of all the awesome men I or my sister crushed on over the years-the Backstreet boys, John Stamos (Full House), Gareth Jones (How 2), Tulio and Miguel (The Road to El Dorado - No. 1 on my list of all-time favourite animated movies), Aragorn and Legolas (The Lord of the Rings), even a couple of Bollywood actors at one point-in blue permanent marker. One entire side of the cupboard was covered in names of all our favourite witches and wizards from Harry Potter in whitener. Later, half the names were shrouded with a poster of The Emperor's New Groove (that'll be No. 2) from a teen magazine called Young Times. We were young; we were fickle.

After school, we moved to Pune and I shipped all the Blytons, Dahls, Potters, classics, novels there-I don't EVER let go of my books. I designed a study table cum bookcase for our room there, the mother got it made, but the sister hijacked it. When we moved back to Kuwait after MBA, I decided the table here had to go. I was a mature twenty-three year old and this embarrassment in no way validated that. I needed a new bookcase to house the books I'd bought in India (you may think I'm crazy carrying books back and forth across the Arabian Sea, but do you know how hard it is to find decent books in this country??).

I also wanted a writing desk. I actually really wanted my paternal grandfather's which was in Hyderabad. Ever since I learnt of its existence, I demanded to have it sent to me. I've been told it's a huge, beautiful, classic piece of teak furniture. I've never seen it but I'd like to own a tangible piece of family history, especially one that's akin to writing. I was also told it was just not practical. So I conceded to buy one.

Two years went by; my inertia coupled with my dislike of every piece I saw in Ikea inadvertently put off the purchase. The books however, kept coming in, mostly from clearance sales at bookstores closing shop, and would end up stashed under the bed and in every corner of my room because there wasn't an inch of space on or in the superannuated study table. But then, a couple of weeks before my birthday last Monday, I finally set eyes on this secretary desk in a furniture shop in Farwaniya:

and was enamoured with its antique appearance. I bought it instantly.

Kuzco took the words right out of my mouth.

I also found a bookcase to go with it. The two pieces were delivered to me after a week, during which I finally tossed out the aging study table, after painting over the names of my old flames and erasing all traces of my teen years.

I kept my tattered poster though.

I spent a happy weekend organizing my books and other bits and bobs that I've held on to, into the shelves.

Twain, Tolkien, Wodehouse...no
longer refugees looking for a home.

The postcard is a print of Caspar David
Friedrich's La Tonnelle. Google it, it's gorgeous.

My first thought when I bought the desk (besides that it was soo bee-yootiful) was that every night, I would spend an hour or two writing narratives and articles that had Pulitzer Prize-winning potential (just potential - eligibility to the relevant category is limited to American citizens) but the universe has been conspiring against me, I barely get to rest my elbows on it for an hour the entire week.

I may not have a lot of time to use my desk at the end of each day and there may not be any masterpieces drafted upon it smooth surface, nevertheless, just seeing it first thing in the morning makes me, as Kuzco puts it...sooo happy.

Tedx Safat, Kuwait: Ideas Worth Spreading.. indeed!

I wasn't supposed to be attending Wednesday night's Tedx Safat Conference. But I did and it was awesome.
I'd received no reply when I emailed to ask if the event was going to be held in English. My friend Sahar (who blogs about her experiences in Kuwait on Eternal Joie de Vivre, go check her out!) found out that it was. Problem solved.

Thank God I emailed, because apparently you had to pre-register. An event organizer asked for our names to tick off a list and I thought with a sinking feeling that I wouldn't be able to sit for it. But it was there!! *fist in the air* (awful rhyming was unintentional, my apologies)

And what did I think? Read on for a succinct account on what each speaker communicated. Words in italics are their words (or close), not mine.

We walked in and found seats just in time to see the first speaker, Dr. Saad Hamad Al Barrak take the stage and start his speech on 'Leading Change', the essence of which was that the purpose of leadership is to impact change. He explained this concept through John P. Kotter's change model below.

I loved his definition on delegation, 'it is nothing but a loan of a power of authority'. An illusion of power if you will.

Dr. Ghanim Alnajjar was the UN Independent Expert on Human Rights in Somalia, appointed by former UN Secretary General Kofi Anan. He specified that without equality there was no stability and that might and right are never too often on the same side. Seeing the destitution and war-torn lands one wonders, do we live in the same world? The UN did not allow its people to travel by cars in parts of Somalia; the areas were so dangerous and riddled with land mines that workers actually had to use small planes! Tragically the situation in Somalia is far from light, with 300,000 Somalians internally displaced and living in camps.

Sulayman Al-Bassam blew me over. A world-renowned playwright, he tries to foster open-mindedness through his plays. He brought to light the fact that people prefer to express in English, fearing to do so in their native tongue. In 2003, when Iraq was invaded, there were mixed feelings of joy and trepidation in the region - joy at the attempt to overthrow a dictator and trepidation because, well, war is a terrible thing.
He wrote and directed a play in Kuwait at that time, casting Kuwaiti, Iraqi, British and American actors, in an attempt to promote kindred feelings amongst people and put the torrid past behind them. A terrible thing happened on opening night - one of the Kuwaiti actors suddenly died of natural causes backstage while the performance was going on. A member of the audience somehow got wind of the death and announced on stage that the Iraqi actors had 'killed our compatriot'. A ripple of shock went through the audience (the TEDx one) as Sulayman made his point, that in less than a minute, the man had poisoned the idea that we were trying to promote. It was a lesson on how difficult it was to change a society. Questions we ask through our art should help support an open society.

Hussaa Al Humaidhi was a ball of energy! Her fantastic slide show was perfectly synchronized and well coordinated with her speech and the message she wanted to deliver. Her presentation was titled From Frustration to Collaboration to Inspiration (Connecting the Dots). The 'dots' were represented by four creative individuals (in her speech as well as on the slide) frustrated (frustration occurring 'when things are out of your control') with the lack of inspiration in Kuwait, travelled to different countries to find it. They then decided to take matters into their own hands and here's where the collaboration comes in. They founded Nuqat, meaning dots in Arabic, an organization that offers individuals the chance to bring out creativity within the region, taking care of the inspiration factor. They realized too many young designers in the Middle East were uninspired and just mimicking the West. With Nuqat, these entrepreneurs want to encourage designers and other creative individuals remain to true to their Arab identity and find that spark here. She signed off with the well-known and extremely apt quote: Never wait for inspiration, hunt it down with a stick!

Sheikha Intisar Salem Al Ali Al Sabah founded and runs a publishing house. At a bookstore in a neighbouring Gulf country, she noticed the store had books on most countries of the Middle East... except Kuwait. So, she set out to write one! She interviewed Kuwaitis that had made a real difference in the country and through their passion, found her inspiration. She described their contribution in a slideshow while quoting each of them.

I liked the way Mrs. Maha Al-Ghunaim (founder and MD of Global Investment House) began her speech, by stating quite frankly that she moved to the States for Bachelors in Engineering, because it seemed right, as her siblings were engineers. A year later she switched her major to mathematics because she loved it and hated engineering. Move where your passion is. After completing her degree, she moved back to Kuwait in August to look for work. An HR manager of an elite investment firm told her to go on vacation to Switzerland with her parents and that they didn't hire women (scumbag company). Twelve years later, I became the boss of his boss. YEAH!! *round of applause*
She ended saying something simple and profound that I've pondered on a lot in the past two days, and I hope I never forget it. At the end of each day, think, 'did I give it my all?' Give the best you can be at that point to everything and do it regularly. She ended with the quote: Giving it your all, is not too far from victory.

We left then, her words echoing in my head.
Actually, they still are.

I hope someone uploads the videos on youtube, I'd love to hear Sulayman Al Bassam's speech again as well as the last two we missed by Dr. Ahmad BouShehri and Khaled Al-Kulaib. Kudos to Dana Al-Hilal and her team for a wonderful event and the fantastic choice of speakers. I was completely unaware as to the brilliance of these people. The message each one of them gave, especially the latter ones has touched me differently. Why do we need to look to world famous, far removed personalities for motivation when we have very worthy ones right here?


Note: I tried to get their words down verbatim but it wasn't possible for all. If any of the above mentioned ever read this (hey it could happen) and feel I got the wrong idea, I am profusely sorry, I was lost in your awesomeness : (

(If you'd like to see pictures, check out the ones by The Dusty Co. here)

thrusting out the old, saluting the new

A few weeks back while ravaging through my old sketchbooks and stuff, I found a list of resolutions I had written with a friend in 2008. There were some 20 points, some of them general like keeping my room clean so it didn't look like Hurricane Paloma hit it, organize stuff (FAIL), less facebook, while others were involved with being a better person such as less swearing and being nice to dumb people. I think I crossed most of them off, the last was a bit of a pain.
This time, I will not be so ambitious.

Resolutions for 2011:

1. Find a job by Jan end.

2. Move base to a country where I know no one and no one knows me. And keep it that way.
   And if THAT doesn't work out, visit atleast ONE country that isn't India, Kuwait or the UAE.

3. Write something remotely decent that'll throw the world into shock and awe.
4. Make memories doing something totally unconventional, innovative, avant-garde. Things so thrilling, I'll never have trouble remembering them and will relish the thoughts of. Coz life is too short to be taken seriously.
5. Never, ever leave home without the camera and take a picture every time the thought 'I should take a picture of that' crosses my mind.

So far, so good.
For the first time in a loong time, I am strangely excited this new year's eve. It's always been like any other night for me. But tonight is different. I feel something, an intense energy, adrenaline throbbing in my veins, charging me up. And I feel this year holds promise, that it has great things in store.

Here's wishing you all a very Happy New Year!! =)

whatcha thinkin'? huh? HUH?

Today's issue of DNA After Hours had a teeny article - '10 thoughts we have every single day'. None of these has ever occurred to me.

1. Work should start later in the day.

Why? So it gets over even later?

2. Why is office coffee so bad yet so addictive?

Obviously because your taste buds have failed you.

3. Today I will diet.

Oh puh-leez. Nobody EVER says today. People live for today.

4. Why do they put round pizzas in square boxes?

So you can't toss 'em like frisbees.

5. My boss hates me and it's probably a personal vendetta and nothing to do with how much time I spend surfing the internet instead of working.

Ya think?

6. Why does my mum think that when I say 'bye' I'm actually saying 'talk more about unimportant things?'

Must be 'coz your brain has failed you too.

7. I wonder what Pune would be like without any traffic.

Then it wouldn't be Pune now would it?

8. Work should end earlier in the day.

First bright thought you've had all day.

9. Why isn't there ever anything good to watch on TV?

Coz you're too thick to think of reallocating the money you spend on cable to a top notch internet connection with unlimited downloading.

10. I shouldn't have had so much coffee today.

Probably. It doesn't seem to have done much for you.

Seriously? Is this what people think of EVERY SINGLE DAY?? Jesus!!

Two things that should have been topmost on that ridiculous list are so blatantly obvious, I can't believe the author didn't include them.

Wondering if:

- anyone called/messaged while you were getting some shut eye,

- you got any notifications on Facebook.

Tell me atleast 98% of the urban world doesn't think that and I'd say you were full of.. well you know. If you don't have a Facebook account, you're not part of the urban world anyway so you don't count.

Anyways, I gave it a thunk. What thoughts do I have every single day that others may or may not share besides the two just mentioned?

1. Why must every idiot on earth call on the landline or ring the doorbell on the same day and keep me from sleeping in peace?

2. I've already completed my mba you moron so quit sending me messages about your stupid masters' programs!

3. It's so pleasant and green out.. gonna miss the view.

4. Why won't those blasted pigeons find somebody else's balcony to excrete in! Darn them all to heck!

5. I wish every rick in Pune that tried to con some innocent law abiding citizen or tried to got slapped with a whopping big fine one morning by the RTO or the traffic police.

6. What shall I watch today? Anime? Movie? Documentary?

7. When will my blog exceed the set degrees of fabulousness and get me a follower I don't know?

8. Love love LOVE this wi fi connection.

9. I should so blog about that! Dayam, have I got it bad.

10. I must be cutting myself in my sleep 'coz I have no memory of how I got that o_O

Sooo.. Yeah, I think that's about all the redundant thoughts I have.